August 28, 2008

When Your Spouse is Verbally Abusive

We do not help a verbally abusive spouse when we act as though the harsh words do not hurt us. Share your own feelings. “There is something I really need to share with you. It is not easy to say, but my pain is forcing me to talk. Over the last several weeks, I have lived with a great deal of heartache. The verbal attacks that I have heard from you have brought me tremendous pain. I want you to know that I cannot go on hearing your attacks, without going for help.

I really want to have a positive relationship with you, but when I am hurting so deeply, it is hard to be responsive. I’ve made an appointment with a counselor. I don’t know if you want to go with me or not, but I feel that I must have help. I believe in you and I don’t think you intentionally want to hurt me, but I can’t bear the pain any longer.”

This person is on the road to help, and perhaps the spouse will join them.

Today's A Growing Marriage Daily content has been written by Dr. Gary Chapman and is based on the book Desperate Marriages by Dr. Gary Chapman. Published by Moody Publishers, copyright 2008. Used by permission.